If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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