Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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