He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
