I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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