So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize