take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
