there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
