LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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