Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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