bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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