your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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