I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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