We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
