Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
how can u be prego again
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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