You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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