Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
