Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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