i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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