What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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