there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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