Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize