i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
