You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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