True but thats because hes a fetus.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
