oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Can I color on your dick again?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
