Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
