Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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