I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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