Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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