Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
