O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
