my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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