...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
not ubering you a puppy
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
