the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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