you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
