My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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