I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize