I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i will never coherently bang her
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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