Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
