It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
