When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
and you fell through a lawn chair
dude. I can hear the air.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
