Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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