Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
