Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
