I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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