I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize