I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
