I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
