All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
