these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
