How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
