he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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