I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
