Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
