I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
