how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize