is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
