Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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