I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize