You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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