where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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