Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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