call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
