I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
