Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
