i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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