My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize