Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
