I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
