Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
