Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
