4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Two words: blizzard sex
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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