Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
