it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
