: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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